I’m rambling. I try to stop myself, but my enthusiasm for detail derails me. When I finally stop, I cringe and promise myself I’ll do better next time. Why do I think WHILE I’m talking? Why don’t I think first?
Am I in a board meeting? A job interview? A dinner conversation? Yes.
But help is on the way. First, you recognize the problem, and then you get help.
Like many people, I’ve struggled with this most of my life. I get past it by carefully preparing for many speaking opportunities. I develop short lists of speaking points and even use finger counting as a mechanism for memory, separation, and clarity.
Experience has helped:
I know that most people don’t want all the context first. They want the summary and will ask for the relevant details as they want them.
I know I must start every answer with Yes, No, or a # first if at all possible.
I know I can help people follow by giving them categories I’ll cover at the beginning and again at the end.
I know I can (and should) pause to organize my response before starting (though my enthusiasm usually overwhelms my better judgment.)
I know if I ask thoughtful, clarifying questions before I start answering, I can better answer their questions more succinctly. (This is especially critical in job interviews and sales, where success lies in getting the interviewer or customer to do most of the talking so you can tailor your brief words to their exact interests.)
While some of this was learned through trial and error, much of it was also learned in a class I took many years ago called Precision Q&A. A top executive I admired mentioned that she was attending, and I tagged along. She was already an expert, I thought, so if she thought she could learn, I could too. It was fantastic, and the lessons stuck with me.
I loved it so much that I convinced the owners, who no longer do public classes, to set up a class for my clients last fall. In trying to get 15 more people to join, I received hundreds of LinkedIn notes of interest. So we set up two more public classes that are coming up shortly. Want to join us?
Feb 12th - 9- 2pm PT -($500) - Register here
March 13th - 9-2 pm PT -($500) - Register here
This class will cover:
How to communicate clearly and concisely, even when navigating complexity.
How to ask thoughtful and incisive questions and think on your feet more effectively.
How to engage with social intelligence to connect better.
How to refine your ideas before important meetings, readying yourself to present your best thinking to senior executives.
How to accelerate team meetings, problem-solving, and learning.
One of the things I found most helpful about the program was its way of teaching you to THINK, not just to speak and respond. They have a framework for seven different categories of questions, which help you clarify your understanding of the situation, the recommendation, and the context of your listener:
And then, in the course, they break down specific types of questions for each category. For example, here are the focus questions.
The course is part training, part role-playing - so after learning the lessons and frameworks, you practice them with partners. This helps the learning sink in. I keep taking it, practicing, and getting better each time.
Join Us Feb 12th or March 13th
I do not get any compensation from these courses, I just love the material, and wanted my clients to have access to this critical executive, mid-management and individual contributor learning. It was so transformative in my career.
Enliven offers private classes for teams now instead of open enrollment. This is a one-time special for me and my friends. But because it’s work for me and them to fill a public class where individuals can participate, I don’t expect there will be more. So now’s your chance! Join us in the Feb 12 or March 13th classes.
It’s the best $500 training dollars you’ll spend this year.
Carilu Dietrich is a former CMO, most notably the head of marketing that took Atlassian public. She currently advises CEOs and CMOs of high-growth tech companies. Carilu helps leaders operationalize the chaos of scale, see around corners, and improve marketing and company performance.
One of the more underrated leadership superpowers. Clarity of thought drives clarity of communication.